Steve Langley Flash Fiction results, 2022
Please find below the winners and runners up of each section, as judged by Steve Langley and special guest judge Michele A’Court. There is one final additional selection, a ‘Committee’s Choice’, as selected by the Waitaha English committee for special mention.
Steve: We each made our choices independently, and then compared notes. Here is Michele’s response after seeing my choices:
“Remarkably, I now see that we have picked exactly the same stories for almost exactly the same reasons! So either we are both brilliant, or both mad. I am going with Option A.”
We also agreed that we enjoyed reading the stories and were impressed by the control of language and construction, the selection of detail and imagery – that sense of a word or image being ‘just right’.
Our congratulations to these winners, and thanks to all those who took the time and effort to enter. Kia kaha! Keep writing!
(remember, practice makes progress)
Years 7, 8 &9 winner:
Art by Dylan Wansbrough, Avonside Girls’ High School
Judges’ comments:
Michele: - good use of metaphor and simile to build a clear picture and to make the writer’s point.
Steve: Arresting images in first two lines. Powerful effect of ‘lonely’, ‘heartless’ ‘unresponsive’, building to ‘ice doesn’t listen’, and a clever hint at climate danger. A stark, powerful ending.
Year 7, 8 &9 Runner up:
“Under”
Jemimah Chisholm, Year 8, Rangiora New Life School
The little girl stood under her radiant red umbrella, unconcerned by the darkness that engulfed the city around her. The sky was choked with heavy grey clouds and clothed in darkness. The only things visible were the hunched shapes of people and the tall, foreboding buildings. An old man crouched by an overflowing rubbish bin; his face expressionless. The little girl carefully walked over to him, stepping over debris, her red umbrella lighting the way. She crouched beside him, her soft brown eyes meeting his dull grey ones. She leaned in and whispered one word into his withered ear.
“Soon.”
Year 10 & 11 Winner:
Art by Lily Bond, Avonside Girls’ High School
Year 10 & 11 Runner up:
“His words”
Penny Dai, Year 10, St Andrews College
The softness in his voice tells me that it’s over. His fingers push the hair behind my ear, as if he is telling me, it’s okay. The warm wind coming from the classroom window solidifies me as I mouth those words. I feel like an hourglass, sand pouring through me. The more words that pour from his mouth,
the
more
I
suffocate.
Year 12 & 13 Winner:
Art by Javae Reynolds, Avonside Girls’ High School
Judges’ comments:
Michele: Evocative, beautiful sounds and rhythms. A poem that demands to be read out loud.
Steve: Original imagery for a panic attack. Arresting opening line, and beautiful image of spine like a scythe. I like the developed metaphor of the solar system, and the clever effect of the last line.
Year 12 & 13 Runner up:
Between Yesterday and Tomorrow
Jasmine Glennie, Year 12, Christchurch Girl's High School
It all began on a summer's day, my spindly scripture writes. No no, that does not sound quite right. Too plain, too overused. A peaceful summer’s day marks the beginning of my story. Better, but not show-stopping. No. I am here to make a stand, make a memory come to life, I need works that speak of power. Words that breed emotion, words unforgettable.
The day was this: yesterday seemed only a bore scorched by the hot summer sun, while tomorrow unbeknownst to us was a whirlwind of tumultuous toil. Today, however, was calm.
And today is where we begin.
Committee’s choice:
Art by Javae Reynolds, Avonside Girls’ High School
“Danger - Island of Ice”
Tom Nalder, Year 9, Cashmere High School
Antarctica, the colour of clouds.
A lonely white coat.
A heartless wind that whips through unresponsive snow.
The sound of ice cracking like a gun re-loading.
The sound of a baby penguin floating out to sea. Where is his Mother?
The ice doesn’t listen.
The ice has somewhere to go.
Away from the rising, warming, sea.
Away from intruding tourists.
The penguin huddles deeper into his silky fur.
Under the ice, a leopard seal waits.
Judges’ comments:
Michele: Evocative images, a story that makes me want to hear what happens next.
Steve: Well-chosen and evocative vocab, the sky ‘choked’ and ‘clothed’, and with brief, effective detail ’stepping over debris’.
There were many, many entrants to this section. Congratulations also to our shortlisted writers, in alphabetical order:
Arwyn Dewell, Chloe Drinkwater, Emma Geddes, Harriet Rouch, Phoebe Whyte
“Comfort”
Charlotte Bull, Year 10, St Andrew’s College
Soft evening light filters through branches outside the window. Dust motes float through the air, silent observers. Rumpled at the foot of the bed, a dark-navy duvet. A waffle-textured sheet falls over the edge, partially obscuring a pair of worn grey slippers. In the closet lie an almost identical pair, shoved, gathering dust. Every night they are retrieved, placed next to the other pair. Every morning they are returned, gathering dust again.
Judges’ comments:
Michele: Lovely command of language in a deliciously sad story.
Steve: Lovely detail throughout: ‘motes float’, ‘rumpled’ duvet, ‘waffle-textured’. The slipper detail is clever, encourages a re-reading to realise the sadness of the situation, reinforced by the repeated ‘dust’.
Judges’ comments:
Michele: Great images of hourglass and sand and suffocation. I like the staccato power of the ending.
Steve: Well-observed, telling details - ‘softness’, 'fingers push the hair’. Arresting image of the hourglass, with the sand pouring, linking to later words ‘pour from’. A powerfully sad ending.
Congratulations also to our shortlisted writers in this section, in alphabetical order:
Jacob Field, Meg Simpson, Mollie Thomas, Nick Wylie, William Sherbourne, Zoe Sullivan
Cindy Xiong , St Andrew’s College.
Judges’ comments:
Michele: Enjoyably meta and narratively complex. Confident use of language.
Steve: Interesting idea, and effective vocabulary - unbeknownst - alliteration of ‘scorched summer sun’, and of ‘tumultuous toil’.
A Thousand New Beginnings
Rahda Gamble, Year 8, St Andrew’s College
I let go of the lantern, hot in my hand. It slowly rises into the sky. It rises among the huge cluster of candles, floating in the air. A gust of wind blows past. The candles billow out across the sky, lighting up the whole night. Through the cloud of lanterns, I make out a moon shining against them. Flooding the sky even further. A thousand fireflies. A thousand stars. A thousand new beginnings.
Committee’s choice:
We were captivated by the hope and optimism of this piece, as well the striking visual imagery.